950 AD Europe Descends Into “Dark Ages,” Soccer Invented
The Horror...The Boredom
950 AD – Europe enters the “Dark Age” period of ignorance. Meaningless, prolonged, boring, local battles with no clear winner abound. Soccer is born.
557 AD Huns Repulsed by Belisarius
Dude, that's just gross!
557 AD – The Huns were repulsed by Belisarius after he shot milk from his nose, released a wicked fart, and burped some obscure alphabet.
552 AD Byzantine Eunuch Teaches Rome a Lesson
Not Actually Required to Defeat Rome
435 AD Romans Finally Leave Britian
435 AD – The Romans finally decide to leave Britian, citing poor dental health as the last straw.
418 AD Vandals Trash Visigoths
Damn Vandals!
418 AD – The Visigoths defeat the Vandals in Spain. The next morning they woke-up to find their chariots had been egged and someone had driven through their new front yard.
TNP Editor Returns – Bank Photo a Hoax
Editor Milli Returns
OP ED (Milli – Editor) – I am back after recovering from human reproductive experimentation/population control (hysterectomy). The bank robbery photo was a fake submitted allegedly by Charlie Sheen. I have been cleared of all wrong-doing. Thanks to Beast for covering in my absence and providing Poopy History. Please visit our new “Poopy Map” page. It is an interactive map of the history posts, and basically a way to kill time while watching football on Saturday.
On a serious note, the hidden-camera videos, leading to the recent ACORN meltdown, were the brainchild of my human’s niece, Hannah Giles. She and Jeff O’Keefe are two brave young journalists with a lot of guts. We here at TNP are very proud of them. You can follow their journey via Big Government.com.
258 AD Goths Take Over Europe
Puncturing Europeans Since 258 AD
258 AD Wearinng trench coats and being fed-up with high school jocks, the Goths take over most of Europe.
58 AD Ming-Ti Establishes Buddhism
Not Part of Executions
58 AD – Ming-Ti establishes the peaceful religion of Buddhism in China. Unfortunatley, he had to execute over 10,000 fellow-countrymen first.
